All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
