Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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