You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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