508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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