Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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