he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
