So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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