If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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