No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
