She's JV to your varsity
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
