Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
