I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize