Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
there was a trapeze. enough said
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
