Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I still have a little drunk in my system
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
