well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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