we have pet lesbian snakes
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
