Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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