he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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