dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
