Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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