You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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