I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think my mom watched the whole time
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
