i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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