I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I want a musical about memes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
