We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
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I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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