And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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