Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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