What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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