i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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