its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is my gift to your gina
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
