some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
