I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
