Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
