Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
