In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
