Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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