I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
