We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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