My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
