If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Let's get the cat blown out
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
