he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize