i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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