I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
