Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
