I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
