Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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