ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
