dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
should my penis look like a turkey
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i need some magic done to my vagina
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