Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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