i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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