I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
