Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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