PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
