jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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