i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize