I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
