Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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