took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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