I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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