she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
