Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
