tell your sister to shave her snatch
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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