Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
