she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
