Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
