Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
