I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
