Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Life is so much better after having sex.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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