Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
