He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
